This may possibly be the shortest Mini Mission Briefing in the history of Dirty posts… Mainly as I’m cloaked in a thick layer of ambiguity and as you may guess, a distinct lack of details. Which is somewhat eyebrow raising given I’m off to a brand new location.

Even more intriguing than Moscow Mike at a Pizzeria, its not only an MTB mission, but also in Asia. To answer the initial question currently forming at the outskirts of your conscious, no, not North Korea, I know the Malaysian tourism board has been promoting it this week, but apparently Lil Kim still has a lot of work to do on his bike park.

When I mildly took the piss out of Bali, most people thought “what a cunt“, but then some took the time to send me excellent expletive laden feedback e mails and comments, urging me to pursue another avenue in an attempt to get as ENDURO as fuck on it in Asia. their froth was as authentic as it was unanimous in pointing towards where to go:

Chiang Mai, Thailand

Hold the ping pong jokes for a moment, as while I’ve heard of this location as a bit of a hot spot for proper action, I know essentially less than fuck all, which means I will probably be the new National Security Advisor by the weekend:

  • I have no idea where we’re actually going
  • Zero intel on the trails
  • Extreme vagueness about the ENDURO ratio & Shuttle capability
  • 90% chance I get the shits (I.e. not the unhappy mood variety)

So, I know basically nothing… Fuck, I didn’t even really have a decent header pic to throw in here – Clearly that’s not Thailand. WTF you may ask? Is this me trying to upskill my sense of adventure? Fuck no… This mission is outsourced to none other than the #SwissMissile. He’s done all the heavy lifting on lining up logistics, so I’m going to turn up, ride and then slowly BBQ him like a Giardia infused Thai chicken if it sucks. Good times.

One thing I DO know, is its going to be a whole shit load less stressful and significantly more rad than the last time I was in Thailand 4 years ago… Doing 50kph down the highway of death… Strung out… Dehydrated and with the epic Bangkok chicken shits eating my insides…. in 40 degree heat. Yay for stage racing!


Hating every single fucking pedal stroke for 120kms

Technically this is the first training camp of 2017 ahead of NZ Enduro and EWS Round 1, as well as another Hightower deployment to see if this love continues to blossom. So stay tuned to see if CM checks out as being legit (apparently no worries there) as well as more cliche Thai gags than you can throw Hangover III at.

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