Finally got my shit together to create a mosaic of randomness made up from a whole lot of Global action… Its HIGH on randomness, so lets get grazing on some food for thought, a bit of shopping and some race action.

Why do I rave on and on about Trans Provence being a must do either as a Tour or a Race? Well, if you don’t have time to watch the videos religiously like I do, then these two pics sum it up perfectly:

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Why we go to France…

Whilst there is ample frothing over the Alps and its endless supply of face melting riding, the Maritime Alps aren’t to be discounted or forgotten either. Represent:

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May have stopped and taken a pic in that very spot once upon a time

Static photos not enough for you? Your Monday has the stench of sweaty balls about it? Then devote the next 7 minutes to scoping out this awesome video of the last day… A slight step up from a normal Dirty Nomad production to be fair. Fuck I need a drone:

To a completely different extreme and discipline, check out the new threads that will soon be winging their way from Switzerland to the Global Hub HQ… I haven’t really elaborated on the BIG team change that much, that’s to come in a future expose, but in the mean time this is what we’ll be rolling in for upcoming Asian #attackyouuntilyoucramp Racing. Can’t wait to get into the new kit, anything but cuntsys bib shorts is a massive win:

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Coming to a service station coke stop near you soon. Perfect for hanging out in Seletar

Speaking of new kit… Just when you thought it was safe to buy the Go PRO Hero 3+… Yes, the motherfucking 4 is here! What?!!! Yeah… the only thing that makes me nervous about this is that its called the 4, and not the 4+. The ‘+’ here is key, as last time Go PRO released the 3, within a cuntingly short period of time they then came out with the 3+, cue epic consumer rage. Having said that, the 4 is looking gooooooood… And, given my line of unpaid Dirty business, I MUST have one:

Go pro 4

The only worry? The files from this thing are going to be HUGE… So my advice is that if you’re an early adopter, make sure you pick up an external hard drive when you pick up one of these things. More on that later in the week if I ever manage to get my Go PRO tips post out.

I said last week that I thought Wiggo would get the German glass coffee table treatment, given he’s a massive Dirty fan he probably took exception when he read that and turned the tables in a decent thrashing when it was all said and done in the World TT champs. Its hard not to look at his Palmares and give it a bit of respect, he’s won a lot of shit. Here’s how he reacted when we asked if he thought Froome could make it to the end of a rainy World Champs road race:

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“Ooooo…. Its raining Chris!”

Yes, the Elite road race was last night and whilst there are MUCH better sites to read up the results on, I will say a few things:

  1. Clearly I am not going to make a living from picks – Cancellara farewelled another chance to be world champ without really featuring, seemed like an odd ending and I’m hoping I didn’t jinx him
  2. Michael K hit it at the most perfect time… VERY astute and precise. You have to love the way that he not only nailed bridging, but then went again and held off confused chasing favourites who must have been thinking what I was thinking “He won’t stay away“. But, fuck, he did and we now have a World Champ who has a surname that no one can spell for the next 12 months. Well done Mr K:
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Fuck… we all need to rush out and buy Aero helmets now…

What was creepy about the podium? Well… Here is the Podium from LBL earlier in the season… Same dudes, just rearranged deck chairs. A penny for their thoughts:

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Gerrans: “Fuck I am SO gonna be world champ”. Valverde: “Can I blame this on Purito again?” MK: “Why do I have a train drivers cap on?”

Best winning pic of the week though goes to the U23 winner… Check it… Solo win again, but with the sweet satisfaction of knowing cunts are stabbing each other behind you in the knife fight for silver:

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Case study of when it IS appropriate to take your hands off the bars to conduct a victory celebration…

Also in “Its September so this shit must be going down“, its Red Bull Rampage time. Fuck, the internet is RAMMED in the face with pics, video and coverage at the moment, so much so even I haven’t been able to keep abreast of it. I’ve had to outsource data selection to Neo (Rampage coverage – Powered by WOLF). However, I think at this stage there are only two pics that I would share to sum it up… Besides, there is a shit load of video to come. First up, here is Gazza’s bike after a MASSIVE off. Yes, fair to say that he found the limit of those DMR rims right? Perhaps I shouldn’t have told him to go fucking maaaad at Rampage:

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“Yeah, just a general service chur bro… May also need to check the seals on the forks…”

What does such atrocities to a bike that would usually see you through a couple of seasons at Whistler? Try this on for size to get a feel for the insane action:

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Yeah… Can’t really dad brake into that one…

Oh yeah… Shiiiit is getting REAL in Utah! Whoever wins it this year either has epic courage, no concerns with being snapped in half or is really good at riding their bike. Or a combination of all of those. If you have to ask “Can I roll it?”, chances are you’re in the wrong state.

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