That time of the week already… Yup, if its time for some Dirty Randomness then it also means its time for the working week to start stealing oxygen from your brain and harvesting your organs. In a mild attempt to stave off such calamity, I’ve attempted to throw together this piping hot buffet of randomness for everyone to feast on, which includes some rampant reposting/plagiarism as well as some genuine items for your scrutiny.

It would be rude to start the week without dropping the E Word, but instead of ranting on about it, I think this little video does a much better job and also delivers a heartfelt message from the Dodzy Memorial Enduro that was on over the weekend. A fitting tribute to an NZ MTB legend:

That absolutely looks like an amazing place (this weekend being the only time its open to the 150 people lucky enough to get an entry) and a great weekend, will have to attempt to get there in 2016.

If anyone already has Deja Vu from last weeks DRRU, then how about another dose of two black cats with some more wanking on about the DN Kit. However, this time its NOT me doing it, the good people at Cuore Australia smashing out some love of the new gear, Chur boys. Especially stoked you managed to make the jersey look how I think it looks on me, which would trend in line with me having a loose grasp on reality:

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Just how I look after another Core session…

As you commence another working week, there will no doubt be things you have to do that you aren’t that pumped about (approx 90% of tasks). Well, suck that shit up and spare a thought for poor Nibbles. Italian Champione and current Tour winner, made to fly to a desert by a bunch of cunts (Aka – Astana) and then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, forced onto a FAT bike like some sort of circus animal… Jump Nibbles, JUMP! If your pet hate is fat bikes being used outside of snow, then join me in shaking your head… NOW (whilst also respecting his skills):

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The moment that the Specialized marketing team jumped the shark…

So, whilst the Specialized marketing team (well, that’s most of the company to be fair) were busy making a tour champion look sillier than an Insurance Executive with the lights on, Orica Greenedge managed to show how its done in a slightly more subtle way… By, well, winning. Its fair to say that on-board cameras are only useful in road riding in the last kilometre of a sprint, and Caleb Ewen certainly knows how to finish shit off… The addition of the jet noise a good touch. Worth a watch in HD:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWRRDH5WCnE

Smashing it… Smashing it? Ok said Lance, and much like most of the first decade of this century he has shown that he’s lost no ability for smashing people in the rear when they were totally innocent. Whilst you may have seen the news story, here is the actual vehicle that LA reamed out after a couple of Apres Ski Majito’s, well, that’s probably giving him more credit than he deserves, more likely to be KGB ready mix vodka’s I suspect, guess he should have asked them to hold the ice… You stay classy Big Tex…

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“Wonder if I can blame this on Big Jan…”

Speaking of PRO collisions, kudos to one of the Global Collective, who over the weekend managed to get some quality #prostalking in on none other than Stuey O’Grady, a Classics Monument winner after all, who had stopped over in the Global Hub for a spin. You can imagine my horror for not getting Deano his DN kit for the weekend, which would have been a coup for this photo. However, a bigger surprise was Deano and Stuey finding out that they were basically twins separated at Birth:

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“Maaaaate”…. “Maaaaaaaaate!”

Moving right along to something for the gear heads… I’ve previously got a little bit excited about Shimano releasing Di2 XTR, not because I wanted to rush out and pay early adopter prices for it, but more because of the landmark occasion it represented by bringing electronic shifting into Mountain Biking. So over the weekend I not only had the chance to see it in the flesh, but also go for an odd little eyebrow raising ride on it. Ignoring the slightly whack colour theming on this Nomad, I instantly got sucked into going “hmmmmmm” and looking at it in wonderment:

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“Nobody knows how you work…”

It needs to be remembered of course that this is absolutely the Rise of the Machines material and so I was more than a bit circumspect about what its like. While a short ride around something pretending to be a pump track is hard to draw conclusions, but some observations on electronic MTB shifting:

  • It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until its changed gear. Yip. it doesn’t matter what you are doing, press that button and BANG, it changes. Obvious I know, but its very much unlike a cable bike situation
  • Clickety click… When you shift into first gear, the paddle can be pressed repeatedly again and again, there is no stop to it, which feels a bit strange to start with, especially when you’ve spent years pushing that paddle in until you’ve run out, then giving it another push in the vain hope that “please, fuck, is there one more easy gear there?!”
  • Tap and go – Kind of repeating myself here, but the mere touch on that button and BANG, its done… No fucking around, no delays, no mis-shift or misalignment, just the gear you asked for instantly, up or down
  • That cool shifting noise it makes does NOT get annoying…

Is it better than mechanical shifting? Absolutely, no question there. Will I be rushing out and buying it? No… Well, if perhaps I lived somewhere dry, that didn’t have rear D eating rocks I may consider it, but I think its best to let the early adopters have this one for a while, not to mention waiting for frames that are built to take the wiring, which is a good point to touch on…

And now for the weird part… Yeah… The battery. I hadn’t seen it before actually on a bike, but it screamed a couple of things at me, namely “Fuck I’m ugly” and “Fuck I can’t wait to eat mud and die“, not to be a pessimist, but do I really want what resembles a mini pump strapped to my frame? Get this shit smaller and internal ASAP Shimano San:

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Is that a black mambo on your frame or are you just happy to Nomad me?

I suspect in the next 3 to 5 years this stuff is going to end up on most MTB’s in one form or another, so it was interesting to get an early look at it. At the end of the day its slightly like an iPad, you didn’t realise you needed it or would like it until you got one. If you get annoyed that the bike shop can never seem to tune your gears the way you want, then perhaps its worth a look… This thing definitely has detailed files.

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“You want to take me into the Alps?”

Ah, tell you one motherfucker I won’t be lining up for… The Cane Creek Inline rear shock. Yes, I love my CCDB Air shock, but when Das Wolf destroyed two of these things in a month, it raised a big question mark about what was going down… If there’s one thing I love more than a stereotype manifesting itself, its seeing the fire where there is smoke. Check this out for the moment when you hate on the call to replace the ultra reliable, but plain Jane, Fox CTD out for the flashy Inline… Yeah, and that ain’t short travel mode either:

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Pop goes the Inline…

Speaking of blowing a valve out, for those of you that didn’t end up with a massive Kim Sears crush following the Aussie open, then perhaps this will push you over the edge… When under the pump for being busted, the best thing you can do some times is embrace it (potentially speaking from experience)… Bravo girl, you nailed that to the wall! BOOM:

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Just needs a DN cap to complete the look…

Finally today, and I promise no connection to the above picture, one of our local affiliates provided this DIY mechanical tip for those that like to work on their bikes at home. Run out of carbon paste when inserting your carbon seat post slowly but purposefully back into your carbon frame? No drama’s apparently, just bust out this underrated alternative and get busy on it… Just make sure you leave enough for Business Time later on…

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The rare occasion where you’ll see this product and the words ‘Minimum Insertion’ hanging out together

And of course before signing off, here’s a number for your Monday: 52.491km’s… Yuuuup, the new hour record set last night by Rohan Dennis on a Swiss Avanti. I know it wasn’t, but he kind of almost made it look easy? Horrendously #notenduro, but definitely respect worthy!

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