Late June saw the commencement of Trans Provence FOMO week… Yes, that time of year when you start to get assaulted by the anti-social media feed of all the people you pretend you know because you follow them on the Gram. Not being at Trans Provence this year after the radness of 2015 was burning me… Fuck I was missing that buzz of being Euro side as summer was starting to roll in.

Well, it was right up until those flames were extinguished by epic snow. 2015 and 16 proving to be quite a contrast:

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2,600m looking vastly different between the two vintages

But regardless of how much shrivel the snowman conditions gave me, one vibe remained: Its summer and fuck I need to be in Europe. Yes, as opposed to the majority across the channel (AKA – Cunts), I am chaffing on my ENDURO pack straps to get involved.

This means the usual practice of heading somewhere at peak season to be sodomised by Europcar before driving the wrong way around Italy/France/Spain in search of sunburn and radness, butchering the local language in the process. Speaking of butchering things, I am creatively numb currently, hence the reference lavished in Fast & Furious style on this mission:

EuroEnduro III

For this particular foray the build up will reach its ENDUROgasmic climax with Round 4 of the ENDURO World Series in La Thuile, Italy. It just so coincides that the 4th round of the 2016 season also happens to be my 4th EWS round ever in my illustrious semi-PRO/but-not-at-all career.

Yes, I have somehow managed to slither my way in-between the rider cancellation cracks and security screenings to stalk PRO’s and do my best to stick my dirty tip inside the top 200 come race day. And the formal description of Round 4 at La Thuile? Well cue the marketing blurb:

“Sitting just over the Italian border, La Thuile lies in the shadow of the magnificent Mont Blanc. This small resort offers mile upon mile of classic alpine single track. A firm favourite with riders when the series visited in 2014, La Thuile offers two days of classic lift accessed enduro amongst some of the Alps’ highest peaks.”

Indeed, this won’t be the first foray into the La Thuile goodness, some will remember it from the Meribel World Cup trip almost 2 years ago now, a time when 26 was still alive (but worried for its personal safety), I didn’t have any titanium in my body holding me together, civilised society didn’t want to commit political suicide and downhillers were still downhillers… Ah, the good old days:

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“What if I said 26 wheels were fucked, Trump for president and the UK fucking up the EU… Guys? Guys?”

This of course means the last time I got to enjoy La Thuile was when the colour of my Nomadness was quite different… But I am pretty sure the same rocks and radness are patiently waiting for me to arrive…

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Long stem, narrow bars and metal free… What a throwback

I have to say though, I am approaching this with a certain sense of relaxed excitement, partly because I am back in the mode of appreciating blasting out of the cHub and corporate cuntery more than ever before. Plus, there is the small matter of just simply how fucking sensational the Aosta Valley region is. Standby Scenery control for plenty of this type of froth:

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Gonna get my Mon-Tons on in a massive way

Its the usual dirty format – A bit of warm up action in Pila (a new location for Dirty Business) and through some of the best that the Aosta valley has to offer, then sit by a pool somewhere for a bit and be hairy, and then on to set up Dirty HQ with the Swiss Missile in La Thuile before the 2 days of practice and 2 days of racing format kicks in EWS style.

The 2014 round they had there looks like a pretty massive event, with some of the PRO’s taking 15 mins+ to complete stages, meaning my T Rex arms will be getting a right un-lubricated pumping over the 4 day format.

It all kicks off this Wednesday (AKA – Tomorrow), so stay tuned for a pasta and pastry fuelled Dirty rampage across North West Italy, resulting in more shaky Go PRO footage than you can throw a sick bag at.

I’m not sure what YAMAN is in Italian, but I shall soon find out. Stay tuned!

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