Monday is back up in the grill and it has dragged in with it a whole shit load of randomness to mull over and stick your fingers in occasionally. Let’s start unpacking it shall we?

If your day resembles a giant turd sausage in all forms, then clicking play below won’t help you… Alternatively, it may be the thing that pushes you over the edge into an oblivion of change that ultimately sees you booking a summer trip to ride Old Ghost Road in NZ. This shit sells itself:

Fuck yes that has gone on the list for NZ summer loving in 2017… No word yet on how to manage the camping aspect, register your interest now if you have an interest in being a trail donkey/maid.

Seeing terrain like that and having a wet day dream over summer riding is the perfect time to be thinking about new projects… Of the Dirty variety. After much over analysis I have finally plunged dirty balls deep into the Tallboy 3 build process.

Its going to be pure madness, but I am starting with some logic. One of the main failings of the current TB2  set up I have? Those Mavic wheels… So, to get the ball rolling I have hooked up some serious fucking hoops thanks to Wheelworks in Wellington, NZ. Its fair to say they have more than a bit of customer focus and customisation action happening:

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Getting things underway with a nice wide rim job

After copious peer pressure abuse from the Rodfather to get into these wheels, seeing Carl Jones lay waste to South Island Singletrack on Trans NZ was the final straw to lose my customer MTB wheel virginity and holy fuck, if you’re going to get deflowered, what a beautiful way to do it:

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Did I mention this RIM job comes with a life time warranty? Recognise.

Time to wipe some tech nerd lubricant all over the place: 35mm wide FLITE carbons built onto the DT Swiss 350 hubs, equipped with the 54T Ratchet upgrade, Using the top of the line DT Swiss Aerolite spokes… Ohhhhhhhh… Fucking wheel porn! I can’t wait to unleash these things on some single track, watch this space as the build kicks into life during June. A massive thanks to Jesse and the Wheelworks team for being legit and authentic legends throughout the entire process, hit these dudes if you need some new hoops in your life.

Speaking of projects, I’ve been outdone by the DN Global Collective PROcurement officer once again this week. Beating me to getting a new Santa Cruz 29er wasn’t enough for his fierce appetite, Das Wolf rolling on with his #lifegoal of owning the entire SC line up by debuting the Stigmata in THAT colour which makes even me irrationally want a cross bike… You know it has to be hot to make me weak for a category that makes me dry retch at the same time:

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We’re hoping the lack of bottle cages isn’t a sign he wore… ah… A camelbak…

Oh… Don’t worry… I haven’t forgotten about the GIRO… Holy FUCK! If I had time, I would love to do a whole post on it, but I think to make that legit I would need to actually be in Italy.

But, if ever you wanted a case study in cycling being as cruel as it is beautiful, then Stage 19 in the Giro on Friday night was it. At one end of the spectrum you had Nibbles bouncing back for some redemption… And a big Fuck you to the Italian press. At the other end, holy FUCK Kruijswijk…. As Lizard would say: “One Mistake“. Brutal:

The last 2 days in the Mon-Tons were truly mental… The Giro has once again cemented in my mind that its the most entertaining of all the Grand Tours by a reasonable margin. And fuck, I have to hand it to Nibbles here, assuming we proceed without cynicism here, but he has pulled off one of the greatest Phoenix moments since… Well… Floyd Landis.

I even know some real Italian people who had written Nibbles off during the week, let’s face it, he looked rubbish a few days ago, more Donkey than Shark. Seeing him perk up like a Uni Grad nipple in the last few days was pretty impressive to be fair, as will the amount of free espresso and Italian housewife being thrown on him for the rest of his life. I was so inspired by the whole Giro scenario I tried to dress like an Italian and wet out on wet roads:

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Humidity can get fucked – A taste of winter delighting the cycling palate

Whilst we’re on the topic of being inspired, check out this rad little vid of an absolute GC legend, Doug from Basque MTB gets philosophical on it while doing what he does best: Shredding Spain gnar into submission. Rolling with Doug in 2015 was a massively cool experience, so great to see him nailing it.

Finally today, I couldn’t go past this piece of gold… Anton Cooper had to pull out of the World Cup XC round this weekend due to an on-going illness. If I was a conspiracy theorist though (a full time one, not just a hobbyist), I would be wondering if he was actually being poisoned by a certain marketing department.

Nothing turns the missile key like when your own PRO rider inadvertently (I assume) gives your new marketing campaign a golden shower… A fact not missed by RJ Lewis there.

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Bandit confusion is unleashed… We need Butch to explain this…

“What bike is this?”

“Its an XC bike baby”

“What is XC?”

“XC is dead baby… XC is dead…”

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