As is now well documented, Day 4 on Shredpocalypse II was a MASSIVE day… And with a massive day there is also the inevitable hang over to be had. Yes, we had binged on epic gnar, radness and general shredding and awoke with the usual hang over that any distinguished (aka mid 30’s and above) downhiller tends to get after a massive session on the dirt sauce. I’m a full day behind in updates still, so that adds mucho confusion given this timezone is whack as well…
With a semi-rest day scheduled and rain coming down in ample supply, it was time to cringe and faff about with impunity for half the day. The first order of business on tour was to cure the gnar hang over with another DH diet special. My inner roadie has been chocked to death by now:
FTP test – Fucking Tasty Pancakes
So, its pissing down and its a rest day… What to do… Go riding in the rain of course! Now this will be a good test of skill. Of course, thats if you can pass the first test of skill, attaching your marsh guard to your forks. Given I am the least mechanically practical person in existence, I felt this was best outsourced to someone who can rebuild whole bikes and knows how to use zip ties (“What do you mean I have the zip tie back to front Dok?”):
“How’s my multi tool going there moto man?”
The only thing watching me trying to fit a marsh guard was watching Moto man trying to fit one to an inverted fork (impossible), or him snapping my tools in half with epic man strength, it was a busy morning. It was also moist… Extremely moist:
“Might stay away from Lower Original Sin guys…”
After 3 runs in the rain and wet, a couple of dirty tips that probably seem quite obvious:
- Goggles hate rain, and you if you ride in the rain with them
- Go PRO’s hate rain, and you if you ride in the rain and mud with them. They repay the favour with blocking the screen right at the start of a run
- Don’t wear your white Troy Lee DH shorts on a wet day, unless you want a permanent stain that says “I went to Whistler and actually shat myself“
So, with 3 runs done and our ability to see the trails whilst riding with goggles around zero, we decided it was time to pull the pin and commence cringing and recovery. A good call given how the body was feeling after day 4. So, what to do given we had some time to kill.
Option A: Put on your DN cap, backwards of course, and watch the RAD Company MTB video:
A video that makes you say “Fuuuuck off” a LOT
Option B: Put on your DN T Shirt and tap out like a massive dead animal in the middle of a super rad MTB video, its so rad you can’t stay awake through it (linked to the above option):
“Fucken ZZZZZZZ”
Option C: Get the downhill version of health food and watch the Steve Peat movie to soak up more downhill awesomeness with a history lesson thrown in:
Chocolate marshmallow on a stick for dinner – Next level shit
Option D: Walk around town and count how many other Demo’s you can see, which as it turns out, is a lot… Thank fuck for the Carbon one:
Apparently its a Park Bike… Chain stays etc…
Thank fuck at last you say, its a mini post. Yes, that’s it for day 5 and time for the daily essentials:
1. Trail of the day – 3 runs in the Fitz zone underwater doesn’t really qualify to have this award dished out today, so lets give that a miss.
2. Gear of the day – DEMO (default award). The hose at the bottom of the lifts…
3. “What did the Dok say” (sing it) – “Tear offs anyone?”
4. The Wolf void – To make sure no one misses out, in this daily essential we hypothesis what it would have looked like today if Das Wolf had joined his gravity brothers, seeing things in the flesh that you only see in Whistler:
“Wolf, its a fucken DVO!! Check it out… On a Demo too! Wolf? Wolf?”
Never fear – Day 6 is already in the bank and normal service was resumed, so watch this space…
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