About the only thing going down (don’t worry, no mother’s day references here…) recently has been a lot of coffee on a so called ‘easy week’. As such, not a whole lot of random shit to invade your Monday, but I have managed to squeeze that last drop of stubborn randomness from the tip of the Global Collective’s daily grind to lock in a mini release for you. Cancel the meeting you didn’t want to go to anyway and grab a coffee…

First up, sort of an apology… Some may recall during DM2 I went through 3 high-end (I.e. expensive) Maxxis tires in 2 weeks. All 3 were brand new, all brought from different countries and all failed with ripping through the top of the tread on the rear. It was starting to smell like a conspiracy, so rather than just wank on about it like a negative nelly emboldened by internet anonymity and cunty chat rooms, I got in touch with Maxxis to say “Wasssssssssup?!

I used to work in a building that had a poster on the wall that said “Feedback is the breakfast of champions“, its possible I may have torn it down after a late night piss up Steering Committee pack completion, version 18, but in this instance I thought perhaps it was best to let Maxxis know what I had encountered. Sure, I wanted some free shit, but what’s the point in being a loyal customer if you just up and fuck off without a word when things aren’t going well? (unless its Cannondale, that’s cool). Ok, so I’ve done that rear tire wise, but I have to say, Maxxis’ response was impressive.

No, I didn’t get an e-mail back with that sweet admission of guilt I secretly craved (“Dear Nomad, you’re totally right, we confused the formula with our Condom production line, we’re about to get Total Recall on it now“), but I did get some recognition that it was uncool for shit like that to be going down… Oh, and some new ENDURO as fuck tires that apparently aren’t out in the market yet… Yup, which makes me one hairy muthafucken Guinea Pig I guess:

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Does that say Toya Hawk?

Chur Maxxis for sorting that out, no idea yet how these things will go, so we’ll see how they stand up to some EuroEnduro beat down. A reminder that its always worth going direct to the source and not messing with Mr In-between on this stuff.

Hot off the printing press, literally lasered into existence, the latest in the line of Dirty Merchandising/Brand whoring… I decided it was important to find something next that reinforced the semi-juvenile, yet inconsistently refined nature and ethos of Dirty Nomad. And lets face it, what makes you feel younger than stickers! Time to go fucking nuts:

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Gonna play some marbles after stickering everything

This would be one of the only scenarios where its ok to have stickers on a helmet just quietly. We’re still in the ‘testing phase’ of the Dirty Decals, yes, turns out it does require a bit of testing on what works best so MASS production can commence and hopefully bring down the currently eye watering unit price…

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“Don’t know if its worth $5, but they’re pretty fucking good stickers…”

Stay tuned, as soon as they’re sorted I shall be spamming them out for the Global Collective to sticker the house down.

It would be blindingly negligent of me to not recognise the fact the Giro d’Italia has kicked off over the weekend! First grand tour of the year and three glorious weeks of parking up on the couch to try and watch the stages in between checking my iPhone every 8.9 seconds like the iCrackhead I am. For those that dig deep into the memory banks, a reminder that we love the fuck out of Italy, its pretty much the only place (aside from electronic manipulation) that would get us into pink kit:

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#sofuckinggirorightnow

There is something brutally different and beautiful about the Giro, it doesn’t seem as formulaic as Le Tour, nor does it seem as ‘last chance Salon’ as the Vuelta. Its also golden as it tends to really fuck people over with either ambushes, the roads or insane weather, and lets face it, we fucking love to see the hardship from the soft comfort of the sofa.

Sure its nice to see people in the French Alps in summer, but like the Rotorua Romans, we LOVE seeing PRO’s battling it out in the snow don’t we really… Yup, let that inner bastard indulge for the rest of May. No fancy photos of Gerro in Pink here, or Basso getting ejected out the bum of the Tinkoff Saxo TTT train with that look on his face like he wishes it was 2006 again. No, instead I am just waiting with excitement until it gets into the Mountains…

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Time for a threshold session

Keeping with the Road theme, we’ve got a Dirty visitor in the Global cHub coming up this week, one of our Western Strayla Affiliates is in town to attend a photography course and KOM as much as he possibly can… Build up seems to have been going well, with Jonsey recently completing an experiment for us to determine how many Tri Nerds he could finger during a half Ironman on a conventional road bike set-up, well, actually, a mega unconventional set up give he was rocking Frakenbike.

The answer was: A lot. No doubt helped by the aeroness of the Dirty kit, which as far as we’re aware, this is the only time we’re likely to see it on an Ironman course. We can see here its doing its job, with that Tri Bunny in the background doing her best to ignore the non-drafting rules while she’s inexplicably drawn to the radness of the gear…

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Not even the Pied Piper of Pain can avoid ending up a victim of helmet stickering

We obviously don’t endorse participation in the three headed beast, but Kudos to Jonsey for giving zero fucks with a full road set-up.

Finally today, a quick Dirty community service announcement – Be on the look out for falling into this Axis of evil and where it may lead you… Thank fuck I can’t handle much beer and don’t own a Fatbike, stay aware people, stay aware…

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They left out Flannel shirts for some reason… Shame

 

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