Today I have something to relax the people out there that are getting upset I haven’t got a job yet… Don’t worry everyone, I am looking hard in-between massages and watching videos on Pinkbike or any other cycling website (and ONLY cycling websites of course).
But, before you really start to panic, there is some good news – My International cycling modelling career is FINALLY starting to kick into gear. Yes, after over a year of being an illegitimate Rapha model, I am at last making waves in the industry.
First up, probably thanks to my agent/pimp the Niseko Hawk, I have made it on to another Japanese cycling website and in line with how the Japanese feel about me, its another shot of my ass. Yip, just me and Froome dog hanging out:
My Japanese is a little rusty, but I think this is an article about how not to do a TT on a road bike. Oddly, its a shot from Thailand last year I assume, so could also be about the perils of stage racing whilst suffering from food poisoning and an intense inability to retain water.
Taking it up a notch though, unbeknownst to me, I am also making an appearance at the Taipei cycling trade show this week in Taiwan. Unfortunately I couldn’t make it in person as I am too busy drinking coffee and eating moist granola, so instead I have released some of my modelling portfolio to assist with the sale of Carbon Wheels. Here I am with Roberto, sitting on my top tube talking about how much I don’t want to ride stage 3 of Tour of Friendship due to little or no control over my bowels, awesome:
Due to the terms & conditions of my modelling contract, the K Craft boys had to make some emergency alterations to the promo booth, but ultimately this will help with sales, so a win win all round:
With images of me cringing on my top tube and the SPY on the attack, I hope the Kcraft crew have a shit load more wheels than that, as they are going to sell the fuck out massively on day one… Speaking of which, stay tuned for a full dirty test review on the Kcraft wheels. Hopefully in 2014, but possibly 2015.
Whilst revenue from these gigs appears to be roughly $0.00, as we say in the business there is no such thing as bad publicity, unless you’re Bob Ford of course. Or Len Brown. On that note, its back to work on my modelling portfolio in case Rapha call, after Taipei I am going to be in hot fucking demand no doubt. I had better keep moist, for as one great model once said:
“Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.”