We all think it from time to time, usually when its pissing with rain and you can’t be fucked with the daily grind… Or perhaps some cunt has scheduled a meeting right when you usually have your daily coffee ritual of trying to awkwardly hit on the Female Barista whilst hiding a stiffy… Or maybe because its just Monday again and I have been too slack to get a RIM out (not something anyone ever wants to hear).

If like me, you’ve spent the day listening to cunts trying to find ways to use semantics to hide from their inevitable cuntery, then you’re probably thinking the same think as me: I would rather be somewhere else.

I’ve been lucky enough to travel to some awesome places in the last 3 years, so a lot of sweet destination notches have been carved into the Dirty belt. This has left me thinking about where to next? As I day dream about the next mission antics, freedom and Insta bangers, I also tend to reflect on the fact that I love two things in particular with cycling, both somewhat contradictory in nature:

  1. Pinning it as hard as my braking fingers will allow down some sweet single track on the Nomad
  2. Climbing the biggest fuck off Road climb available, as quickly as my non-Grimpeur chassis will allow

Different ends of the spectrum yes, but it goes to the point that, like Brazzers, cycling is there to help feed your weirdest desires and fantasies no matter what you’re after. Based on this bi-polar love, there are two places that have been getting my attention recently and are clearly places I need to head to next on the list…

Dirt side – Madeira Island

No one really knows where this is, allegedly off the coast of Portugal, but one thing we do know for sure is that its becoming OH so hot right now. You know how it works, these things go in phases: Riding scene starts, some trails are carved or cleaned up, locals start to pin it, PRO’s turn up and make a few sick as edits BRO and its suddenly on the map. It also ends up on the radar of the Dirty masses who are feverish for new destinations and as you can see here, Madeira seems to fit the bill perfectly:

That’s pretty much standard fare for what seems to be coming out of Madeira recently, which more than satisfies the need to shred single track and a massive load of terrain variety.

Road fever – Girona

Sometimes destinations creep up on you like a rumour almost. Initially I heard a few things about the Road action in Girona, but over the last year or so it feels like its become a steady stream of gushing and reasons to go there.

Most recently a fellow Kiwi has relocated there (Sup Matt if you’re perusing this) and his Gram feed has not only been burning my Corporate zombie eyeballs, but its also reinforced that I need to get there and sample its PRO lifestyle in the later throes of the Spanish summer.

Seeing this recently from perhaps the famous climb in town also didn’t help… Even if it did have overly metrosexual characters and just that touch too much slow mo that made it a bit creepy in places:

Its a little over 3 weeks until the next Dirty Missions are going to be unleashed and I am massively pumped to be indulging again instead of day dreaming about it.

Got any intel on either of these locations? Think I need to add some alternatives to the list? Feel free to leave vaguely helpful or insightful comments below…

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