WOAH! Believe it or not, but this is post number 300! It seems somewhat appropriate to bring up this milestone in shred central, after all, things got underway here a year ago now, so it has a beautiful flowing symmetry to it all. Thanks to everyone who continues to read and abuse me for having this lifestyle, its greatly appreciated and now back to work MOFO’s.

Dok was super pumped it was post 300, so much so he wanted to get into some serious bovine slaying ASAP… Actual file footage:

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“Lets get to the fucking LIFTS Nomad!”

First things first Herr Doktor, we needed coffee… Yes, after yesterday’s second coming and another big day in the Gnar spank bank, I for one was feeling reasonably cunted as we sifted around the village in search of fuel. Dok decided to order coffee based on size for a change:

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Massive cup and tiny saucer, just like in real life…

Then it was the all important daily task of fucking up our hotel room a little bit more. Our form on spreading shit everywhere has been nothing short of epic, the good people at Aava hotel taking it all in their stride. I assume that they’ve seen worse and to be fair, we haven’t spewed anywhere… yet. Dok continues his hate/hate relationship with the worlds most poorly designed fold out bed, as you can see he’s given it the daily beat down:

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“Have you seen my neck brace dude?”

So… Now we’re on to day 7 and then, there were TWO. Yes, the first day without Moto man, he had returned home to plot moving to Vancouver and left Dok and I to fly the flag and nail another two solid days. Its worth remembering that we were now in the “fatigue zone” in terms of number of consecutive days riding. Given that we had binged out massively the day before, the risk was going to be there that we’d feel more fingered than some of the local service industry crew. Warm up runs absolutely highlighted that both body and mind were feeling like they’d been bear raped, which is not a good thing… allow me to demonstrate:

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“WTF… Is that a wolf?!”

Enough stuffed toys shenanigans, there was shredding to be done. Thank fuck that you can’t tell how flogged out we feel in these trail side photos, Samurai Pizza Cat has an excellent little ending, so we made sure we gave it a little boost when the PHOTO sign popped into view:

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This so better be worth my $25 CND

One good pic deserves another… Herr Doktor following through like an out of control 18 wheeler, its shit your pants scary when you can hear him coming through a tech section, a fucking avalanche of radness covered in POC:

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“I lifted my wheel and turned it in the air! Should make an awesome photo… I think…”

Posing for photos is more taxing than you realise, so it was time to stand around and talk about how fucked we felt… A critical part of any Gnar hang over. Forget how good the weather was, forget we were on an awesome mountain, forget we were in a cunt free zone… Our mojo wasn’t firing as we wanted it to, which is upsetting enough that it resulted in much shoulder slumping, in this department I had epic form:

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In order to spice things up, I wanted to roll Michael Jackson glove action today

Before any Road/XC nerds comment, NO, I am not pregnant and NO, that’s not my stomach and NO, it has nothing to do with our special DH diet regime. Its my Troy Lee Armor… Always make sure you have protection out there… Plus, the camera adds 20 pounds etc. There was only one thing to do to fire up the saggy mojo action: Head up to Garbo:

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BOOM… This is a little more like it…

Nothing like a bit of No Joke and some Blue Velvet to get things pumping, mainly my arms as it turned out. It was still a little moist as well, so no room for a hung over mind up top:

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Slipperier than an HR convention

However, there was literally a bigger problem up Garbo… Bears… Yes… Plural. Rock can’t really eat you if you fuck it up, but bears can. Its hard to see in this shot, but that speck of black to the right, that’s Bear #1, with one of his homeboys cringing just out of shot, possibly rolling as a look out for a massive bear ambush:

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Yogi fucks up our run massively

Keen to avoid a bear gang bang, we made the reasonably hurried executive decision to bail the fuck out walk calmly back up the hill (fart noise) and go down Freight Train instead… Thoughts of the earlier diagram motivating us to evac the area. To be extra safe, we decided to go down Afternoon Delight with flogged out chassis’ and minds, which is a LOT more exhilarating to ride than when you’re on your game:

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I have such a good line down here.. When my arms and brain are working…

Yes, you may have noticed some chesty action making its way into the post… The new angle working well and should make for some excellent dirty video from the breast angle. Used to good effect to follow such a connoisseur down HOD at the end of a flogged out run:

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Dok approaches his arch nemesis, the second half of HOD

Its possible some co-ordinated Go PRO action was going on… Dirty Movie coming to a work screen near you soon:

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Dok’s flight data recorder working well

So, feeling smashed after the previous days action and with better weather forecast for the dreaded final day, we decided to up stumps early and chill out to let our units bounce back a little. Would it work? Well, I have the answer, given I am a day behind, but I don’t want to blow my blogging load all in one go, so stay tuned! And on that note, day 7 is in the tank and its time for the daily essentials:

1. Trail of the day – Toss up: Bottom of Blue Velvet was running super sweet, but its tight with Afternoon Delight. Pretty much the best lower tech trail going, a blast to ride when you’re feeling fucked as it essentially pretends to be a Double Black run.

2. Gear of the day – DEMO (default award). Marzocchi 888 forks. I do need to qualify this though and its probably more accurate to say that gear of the day is my pre-load knob (no pun intended), as in, life is considerably better when you actually put some on, super handy to stop that diving over the bars feeling thanks to being a suspension set up retard. Lower Duffman a lot more fun after playing with my knobs.

3. “What did the Dok say” (sing it) – “Meh… Fuck… Lets go to Amsterdam Pub”

4. The Wolf void – To make sure no one misses out, in this daily essential we hypothesis what it would have looked like today if Das Wolf had joined his gravity brothers:

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“Yeah… Fuck, wanna get a coke wolf? Wolf? Wolf?”

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