FAAAAAAARK… Can’t tell you how good it feels to start a post title with the words MISSION BRIEFING. Yes, reintegration into the Matrix has been an alarming process to say the least, so its a massive relief to be able to bring you another tale of traveling, riding and rolling with the crew. So, whats the WORD? Three words actually:

  1. Perth
  2. Nomads
  3. Enduro

What a fucken scene setter that is! But lets not jump ahead… Its genesis time… Feel it coming in the air tonight at a bare minimum. Its started a bit like this:

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A rigourous debate was held to determine the trip parameters, rules and approach

With that simple whatsapp message the mission was born. See the power of the medium? No wonder Fuckbook dished up $19 Billion for them! If they can get Wolf on a plane, they can pretty much do anything.

So that’s point 1 well covered then, yes, today we are off to Perth! Its not the first time mind you, I got a good taste of the radness on offer almost a year ago now on the first stop of the DNST. Some distinct upgrades this time around though.

Yes, its a massive Nomadness Gang Bang going down… Its only taken 3 trips but we are also finally all on the same machine. And what a machine it is at that! Its finally a chance to ride the new Nomad 3 on real terrain. Whilst the Dok has been smashing his around Western Strayla with scientific precision, its been leaning pickings up here in the Global Hub, so I am looking forward to starting to get some runs on the board with the new machine. Check out the line up:

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The Three Kings… Mavic Domination throughout and in recent developments, all FOX front ended now as well

That’s right, we are getting the Gravity Crew back together again… Don’t call it a reunion, call it an alignment of weaponry. Whilst everyone loves a DH gang bang on a trail bike, or watching a 29er try and maim its passenger, this time we will all be on the same genre for the first time. Whilst this robs me of crucial comedic blogging material, at least its more animal friendly (no RSPCA complaints this time) for Das Wolf. Some may remember such adventures as Coronet Peak and the classic ‘it never gets old‘ Demo double team:

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“What are those fingers for guys?”

This will mark Herr Doktor’s 5th Dirty Nomad Mission appearance, whilst the Wolf makes his 3rd mission. What more can I say about these two seasoned campaigners that hasn’t been immortalised before? The Wolf is recovering from an actual bout of Ebola and the Dok is still adjusting to life with real suspension following a particularly abusive single pivot relationship, so its yet to be seen how everyone is rolling… Not that I suspect that it will matter, as this is all about maximising the NoMADness.

Oh… And one more thing… Yes, we’re racing a motherfucking ENDURO. Now that we all have the Devil wheel size, apparently we’re allowed to actually compete in one of these events… My views on Enduro were ranted out here and here a while back, but I am still very interested to see if these events live up to the hype that has basically been assimilating the MTB world over the last 2 years. Not just any Enduro either, its at the motherfucking Goat Farm:

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Motherfucking Goat has been working OUT yo!

No… Not that Goat Farm:

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“Ehhhhhh… Can I bring the Scalpel?”

Having never done an Enduro, the Wolf and I have picked an interesting one to drop into, right into the cauldron of Aussie shredders who are competing for not only round honours, but overall titles… On their home turf… On new bikes… Suspect we stand about as much chance of a result as a Democracy protest in a “Special Administrative Region” has of getting an outcome to its liking. Also to be noted, Sam Hill will be in attendance… Yes, THAT Sam Hill… yeah, the one that had some tips on how to ride in Meribel:

"What? Some bearded fuckers are coming down for an Enduro in my backyard? Gonna make them lick kangaroo shit"

“What? Some bearded fuckers are coming down for an Enduro in my backyard? Gonna make them lick kangaroo shit”

I’ve realised that 3 days of maximising the goodness of Perth riding would require more than a bit of strength running the 34 x 36, so have jailbreaked my rear cassette and gone with E13 40T first gear and a 16 thrown in there somewhere… Get into the “1×10 but I want to pretend its 1 x 11” set up action:

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This cassette is so totally fucking mega Enduro right at this very moment

Fittingly this mission all kicks off today, Chursday bro, as the Wolf and I jet down to Perth to invade Herr Doktor’s Lab of tweaking madness… Its going to be a fiddling and fettling fest no doubt, with millions of micro adjustments being made here and there as we get to know the Nomad’s and feed the Dok’s penchant for DIY tuning! Watch this space…

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