Well, here we are on the eve of the most intriguing leg of the Dirty Nomad World Cycling Tour so far… Japan!

I knew what was in store going to Whistler… and to Europe, but I have to admit that I have absolutely no idea wasssssup in Japan and as such, I’m really looking forward to getting there and exploring it! I have always wanted to go to Japan (it seems to get rave reviews), but never got organised or felt overly compelled to do so, until recently…

Yes, we have a bitch on the scene in the land of the rising sun and its none other than THE international man of mystery, the NightHAWK. In terms of background, a few key things to know about the nHawk for next week:

  1. He is a fellow Rapha model/pimp
  2. He speaks fluent Japanese… I hope (fuck, he should do by now)
  3. He has the most beautiful pedalling style you will ever see
  4. He’s currently training for Ironman and has been dominating some epic miles, which should be relevant to some of the stories for next week (fart noise)

That’s about all that can be declassified at this stage, but here are some rare shots of the man himself in his natural habitat, rolling and catching rays:

"France is rad"

“France is rad”

Fuel the jet, we're off to the Med...

Fuel the jet, we’re off to the Med… (ed note – Seriously, I did NOT photoshop this pic, its all naturale)

A few things to be briefed on for this leg of the journey:

1. The location – Well, all I know is that I fly in to Tokyo, then hit a plane to Sapporo, then its 2 hours to the south west… to Niseko, near Mt Yotei… I have seen photos and it looks amazing, plus its summer, but short of that its all massively new territory for me! Reports from the man on the ground have it locked down as being super sweet…

2. The RACE – Yes, lucky me, like Italy I am arriving in time for another race… not just any race, but a HILLCLIMB race. Oh, yay. Well, at least I have those Italian climbs in my legs to help me contend with this one. However, recent reports have me giving away 10kg’s to the Hawk, so I will be his domestique gimp to see if we can get him on the top step of the podium – Baseline assumption I can climb fast enough to keep the little rocket out of the wind. Here is wassup with the Niseko Hanazono Hill Climb race profile (Look who has the KOM…):

I am having Italy flashbacks already...

I am having Italy flashbacks already…

3. The bath? – Well, this should be an interesting part of the trip… I have no idea what ‘Onsen’ is, but assume I will find out, good news, there are cartoon instructions:

http://www.onsenjapan.net/onsenbasics.php

Handy.

I know that I promised no Italian cliches in my reports, but I make no such promises with Japan… Its such fertile ground for it, plus hollywood has poisoned my brain with movies about or, referring to Japan over the years, so I am armed with wildly inaccurate preconceptions and stereotypes. I am especially looking forward to Ninja’s serving me sushi, as I fucking love sushi. Expectations around blossom trees and awesome vending machines are also extremely high.

Also on the list; I am hoping to see fast trains, lots of dudes in suits and to do plenty of bowing. My cousin is basically Japanese, and these are the main points I have picked up from him over the years, so I am massively well prepared. I will also be employing my dads tactic of speaking to Japanese people in very loud english with a Japanese accent, so it should be awesome (for them). Example:

“HELLO, HOW ARE YOU TO DAY… I VISIT YOUR COUNTRY… LIKE VERY MUCH… OHIO GUY ZIMASS”

Rad.

To set expectations, if Godzilla doesn’t make an appearance and smash some buildings I will be asking for my farking money back… Stay tuned – I am sure that the NightHAWK led tour of Japan will throw up some good material…

Sayonara (no, not the Marlon Brando film)

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One Response

  1. Cas

    Nice one !!! after 1 day in Japan I can check off cool vending machines and Fast Bullet trains…

    Reply

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