Two months… Yup, that’s how long I’ve been existing in a very small square area of Singapore, only slowly venturing out of my grid for one of the following activities:

  • Morning coffee
  • X Ray
  • Surgeon follow up
  • Rehab slash Physio

Its like being converted from a soaring eagle with matching ego to a nude battery hen that’s been sent to Guantanamo Bay on suspicion of egg smuggling. The only thing I need more than an adult nappy is a change of motherfucking scene.

And at last here it is… 

Off to New Zealand again, in what may seem like a weird rerun-slash-photocopy of this time 12 months ago. So a heads up, as the posts start to flow, there may be a sense of 2 cat deja vu stinging your nostrils, but I will do my best to mix master this Road trip up, as much as I can in the feeble state I’m in. Yup, this is a BIG step forward on the #road2recovery and oddly, the first step on the journey that will culminate in the French Alps in June at the Trans Provence. In that regard, its therefore pretty important… It also feels somewhat liberating to be writing a Mission Briefing again.

I totally can’t wait to get back on the road, in all aspects and whilst December weather can be patchy in NZ, its a different sort of sweet and sour dish that awaits me…

The Sweet

First off, the rather exciting and good news that the surgeon has given a green light for a sedate return to actual cycling, yes, outdoors on a real bike. I think from memory his exact words were “Yeah, so fuck, don’t go shredding any gnar as you’ll probably cunt yourself back up, but some small chain ring road rides should be ok.” Not wanting to undo the $43,000 that my insurer has now invested in rebuilding me, its advice worth heeding I suspect.

So I’m rather stoked to be getting back on a road bike for the first time in 8 weeks and hooking up for some spins with this Dirty Affiliate, who has been working around the clock Bangladesh styles to prepare for the momentous occasion:

You may remember me from such road trips as Dirty Nomad does Rots...

“I got everything you requested: Hand Moisturiser, tissues and Penthouse mag… wait…”

His main mission was to prepare the DOOMSDAY bike… Yes, in preparation for Judgement Day I had this thing stashed away in an underground bunker to make sure I was the only person still able to ride on Campy Record after machines had wiped us out. Sporting a new compact chainset and Conti tires, its good to go for a massive reunion! Marking the first appearance by the CAAD10 on a DN Mission ever, kind of odd given the 12,319km’s we’ve spent together, obviously most of that pre the Dirty global cycling tour:

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Shame about the seat post light holder…

Ignoring the fact its Aluminium, I can’t wait to be able to actually head out the front door for a ride this weekend!

The Sour

Yeah… Its not all pavlova and cream I’m afraid, time for some #firstworldproblems… Throughout this NZ Summer Lovin road trip I shall be in constant close proximity to some of the best riding on the planet: Rotorua. In summer, not that that means a whole lot given my world famous Rots Rain Curse, but it will be hard to escape the fact I am in the Epicentre of awesome MTB riding, with only a road bike in my Dirty mitts.

Will I start to have mental torture and anguish as I see the road signs that indicate MTB heaven is a mere hour drive away? Most likely… Will I start to sweat about my preparation for June? In a ridiculous fashion I suspect so. Still, ANY riding is good right now and as an added bonus, I will be hooking up with the whole Shaved Panther Scenario, our Dirty Hawkes Bay Affiliate for a spin to locations such as this:

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S’allright I guess…

So…. Not a lot to complain about really is there? Nah… I shall endeavour to bring some decent road riding tales from NZ, attempting to pick out the quietest, most scenic and obscure routes in an attempt to distract from the distinct lack of shredding.

Damn you greener grass.

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