As I bleated on about recently, LIFE has been doing its utmost to try and eat my brains, spare minutes to blog and general cycling passion, so I figure that its time to start striking back in Solo like fashion.

The long game here? Back to Europe for EWS round 4 in La Thuile, Italy in July… FUCKING BOOM, yes, early lifting of the helmet lid here, its back for some more EuroEnduro action and as many breakfast pastries I can stick my hairy fingers into (so, 10).

Which leads us to the short game then doesn’t it. I’m world famous in my own lunchbox for turning up to these things as unprepared as fuck, so this time I’ve decided to slot in a little mini training camp on what I hope turns out to be some mint trails. Motto: Less road cunt, more shredding.

Where are we off to then you probably aren’t musing… Perth? NZ? Canada? East Coast Park? Nein!

Bali

If you’ve followed this blog before, then you may be thinking WTF as well, and with good reason. This will be my first foray into Asia on a bike since I had the privilege of the world’s scariest drive in the back of a Mitsi L300 van pretending to be an Ambulance, driven by a ‘Medic’ who was clearly splitting his time between being a donut addict and a part time Asian porn movie producer. As we may recall, this put a bit of a dent in my passion for fucking shitholes “remote tropical paradise” locations.

Even though I have been in the #cHub for 6 point fucking 5 years, I have somehow managed to avoid miss out on any excursions to Bali. I suspect that it has something to do with the fact that the one and only time I have graced its shores as an 8 years old, I was struck down with Chickenpox and banned from the resort like I was Bill Cosby at a sorority party.

As an overly impressionable 8 year old who loved to say ‘Fuck’ more than any other word, it clearly left a deep mental scar. But, given how renowned I am for my awesome powers of forgiveness, 30 years later I’m ready to head back for a solid bout of Dengue Fever radness.

And what has enticed me back you may not be musing? Well, two words ultimately, the same two words that always get me frothing… No, not “Lick me“, but “Bike Park“… Bali Bike Park that is. Check out the melodic flow here, and yes, I will be fucking stoked if its that dry for a few days:

I’ve barely had time to write this mini mission briefing for a mini jungle mission, so stay tuned for a Dirty update of a unique kind, the first ENDURO as fuck mission report in Asia.

I will be rocking out some updates from 3 days of guided riding and shuttle action next week… Assuming I don’t get eaten/sexually assaulted by Snakes and/or some sort of giant fuck off Lizard.

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