It was the best of times, it was the worst of timings

BOOM… Yes, like a glorious wet dream you see through right to the end, the NZ Summer Lovin tour is over. Two weeks went like a flash and whilst I didn’t nail some of the marque rides that I was hoping would convert into good story, just being back on the bike, with great people and out in some of the awesome scenery was a huge win.

Also to be noted, I usually bitch out December weather in NZ, but was fortunate to nail some epic sunshine action, much to the disgust of the locals who wanted to share the hardship of a bitchy Spring. In the usual format of terrible contrasts, its day one back in the Global Hub, trying to adjust, not an easy task when I’ve traded this:

So good its almost fake

For this… How lucky am I to get away from the heavy chip seal and annoying scenery…

Cuntastic!

Yeah… Given I am also 5 days off ‘celebrating’ my 5 year anniversary of arriving in the Global Hub and you can bet that there is a truck load of WTF running around in my head like a pack of Velociraptors with yeast infections on a sugar high. This of course hasn’t been helped with the timing of everything…

Yes, as they say, timing is everything and much like farting when a party goes quiet, it looks like my timing of the NZ trip was a little funky. As I’ve arrived back in Concrete HQ, everyone in NZ has punched out on holiday to kick it and ride themselves into a orgasmic state of cycling euphoria. I awoke this morning to Instafuckyou and Strava combining into a gang bang team to remind me what I had left behind.

I’m not going to lie around crying about it (for more than two days) and whilst I have ‘WTF’ tattooed with a blunt spoon on my foreskin forehead about going back to work for the first time in 2.5 months tomorrow whilst everyone else is kicking it, I am channeling the Post Holiday Depression (PHD) towards planning out some banging missions in 1H15, which is cuntspeak for the first 6 months of next year… Stay tuned!

A massive Dirty Thank You to everyone who made the NZ Road2Recovery Tour an awesome time… As per usual coming to the party with awesome entertaining (AKA sleeping on your floor), shit talking (AKA listening to me say ‘fuck’ a lot) and a lot of good times. Enjoy your holidays people! I’m off to pretend that I shave so that I can enjoy one of the home runs Santa hit this week… Its all Lotion & Cream time… Oh yeeeahhh…

Time to get rubbing…