First up today, something that may come as a bit of a surprise, but that’s quite exciting… Out of the depths of our Japanese Design Studio of unparalleled class and style, Dirty Nomad 2.0 is being hatched, soon to cut a path through the ocean of blogs that would make even Godzilla say “Fucking Damnnnnn…“. As such, content may be a bit light this week as we start the conversion process. A little dirty tickling tease with just the tip? Here’s a taste of what you can expect to see some time soon:

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Next level Dirtiness… Stay tuned for an upgrade that actually works…

Its so exciting you’ll almost want to voluntarily lose control of your bladder… Watch this space!

I can now officially confirm that sitting around all weekend watching the Strava feed slowly build itself out with everyone’s awesome riding while you gimp it up aligns quite well with eating shit flavoured ice cream. Mid week its not too bad… But weekends produce epic burn. Some may say its karma for all those months I misspent swanning around rubbing adventures into the collective faces of tax payers.

Well, now its payback time I guess. Front of the queue? The Snozz… Making himself more at home than an invading Viking by setting up shop at the start of one of my favourite trails in all of Rots, Hot x Buns:

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Long travel 29ers, the uncool version of ENDURO… Wait, is that a drink bottle?!

Luckily for Snozza I wasn’t able to attend, which saved him from a 98% chance it would rain, such is the power of my Dirty curse… If they’re droughting it up in Rots, I get the call… Last 5 or 6 trips have resulted in getting mega pissed on. I also consoled myself in the fact that its better to be sitting on the couch than riding around on a long travel 29er, which is about as cool getting a vasectomy with a rusty spoon (so I’m told).

Also coming my way this weekend were stories of QUALITY road racing from the latest round of the North Island series back in NZ, where the Rivet boys were out in force getting business done. Not only a whole spate of podiums, but doing it in relatively cohesive matching style thank fuck, when will the Swiss Avanti Sponsorship be confirmed I wonder? TB Piemaker showing how its done, love the focus:

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#PRO

Whats the best thing to do when you can’t ride? Easy… Think about shit to BUY! Yes, I am conveniently forgetting previous advice about buying less and riding more, but with no riding at all on the menu, its inevitable to think about rejigging the squadron for a return to action in the new year. Given I’m considering going down to, shock horror, ONE road bike, I may as well put some decent wheels on it right? So right now, I have my dirty eye on these new kids on the block – The Knight Composite 65’s:

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Enve’s are SO 2011…

Some people will bullshit and tell you they want to get deep dish carbon wheels to go faster… And if they consistently rider at 40kph+ there may be a shred of truth to such commentary, but ultimately we all want these wheels because they look faaaaarking awesome on any bike (except an Avanti or a Giant). I’ve been resistant to carbon clinchers, but think these will be worth a sniff once I’m back up and running.

Whilst doing my wolf like internet shopping surf, I happened across the latest Shimano ENDURO shoes that have just come out. Being a long term Shimano fan boy and currently the ecstatically proud owner of the legendary DX shoes they make, this news gave me a little MTB semi… Until I saw the fucking colour… Someone needs to be FIRED:

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The ENDURO shoe to have if you also want to illegally invade Ukraine in your spare time

Although, the cycling world has provided a much better-slash-bigger blow out than badly coloured shoes, my personal favourite PR and media melt down from the Astana PRO team. This was tweeted out in July during the Tour. Fuck me if the irony doesn’t grab you by the genitals and give you a good squeeze, especially after this dickhead tested positive for EPO last month, hot on the heals of his brother also being rumbled for the same deal. Commonly known as a nest of cunts:

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Perhaps should have read: “Glowing positive and therefore unnaturally powerful”

Thumbs up for a two year ban! Shame its not for life… Would love to be a fly on the wall at the next family dinner!

Stay tuned for DN 2.0, coming out as soon as we’re sure its the ‘Monocle’ of inappropriate amateur cycling blog sites, which isn’t as easy as it sounds I’m sure you’ll appreciate…

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