I am sure there is a saying that goes something like this:

“To get through the good stuff, first you must eat shit”

If so, then I am absolutely basking in the glow of that notion. Yes, I am in the place where I absolutely don’t want to be. To avoid any dramas, or sullying of DN, I shall not mention its name, but suffice to say that I have pulled up to the shit buffet and am chowing down in an all you can eat manner. But, the good stuff is not far away… Its so close now I can almost smell it in the same manner I could smell the airport meeting dog that was waiting for me last night when I touched down in the place that we not dare speak of:

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“Welcome to my town… Its balls. By the way, can I please hump your luggage?”

Still, I have managed to ram together an eclectic and forward thinking DRRU for today. Lets get rolling. First up, the weekend saw some tragic form on my behalf whilst riding, reinforcing the need for consistency. But, more importantly we had the Colin Robertson memorial ride. It was an excellent turn out and a humbling day to pay our respects for someone who should still be with us and winning races:

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The group that was assembled for the unveiling of the memorial photo was represented by all the teams in Singapore. It was good to see the solidarity and support from everyone, especially those who knew Colin directly:

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We also managed to finally get all in the same team kit for the occasion, which was a win. Except for some guy in a white helmet. Its a long road to perfection…

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White helmet and not mounted on bike… There’s always ONE to ruin in. My look of disgust evident

Possibly something I didn’t need this week arrived in my e mail box… Encouragement. Well Trip Advisor, if my 3 random reviews that I can’t even remember doing make me a superstar then shit must be sad on your app. Love the head line message though… Tell us something we didn’t know:

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Indeed… you fucking bet I will keep those GREAT opinions coming cunts

Speaking of the top 20%, I went to retrieve my so called ‘old’ Nomad on the weekend as it was prepped for an upcoming mission (sshhhhhhhh) and spotted my first NEW Nomad 3 in the flesh. I was trying to ignore this shit, but I finally got to run my trouble making fingers gently over the surface of this beautiful piece of kit and its as porno as I make it sound. Yes, its even better in the flesh as they say. Ok, so in this example someone has fucked it with the chain, no dropper and WTF stem spacers, but the frame is awesome and solidly on the birthday list (4th of July, get fucking cracking… Large please):

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Made me weak at the knees, so much so I had to hold on to the cabinet… weird

Speaking of weird – Ever seen a dude in lyrca dancing whilst eating an ice cream and offering to cup a German’s balls in 39 degree heat? Well, you have now:

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“Nein! I do not want ze ball cup! Achtung!”

If that wouldn’t make you want to drop the hammer, nothing would… SEGWAY! Hammer drop? Fucking A said Grubby and did just that over the weekend to finally win an “Its to hot right now” World Series race, at the latest round in France. What’s cool about this is its another example of #26aintdeadcunts and it will have Marketing people globally howling into their latte’s. Sure, the 26 inch wheel is fighting a losing rear-guard action against the marketing/consumer zombie army, but the last two weekends have shown its not over yet! This EWS race was also another example of why bike racing is fucking cool – 5 or 6 different lead changes over 2 days and the top 3 covered by only 4 seconds at the end of 2 days of insane racing in the French alps… Golden shit:

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A REAL MTB hero… Top of the list of people it would be rad to go riding with. And not a SHAM product in sight…

At the other end of the spectrum, firmly in the unrad column, I am GUTTED for Mad Markus, who had this week touched down in Colorado USA to bring us some awesome reports of riding all the epic MTB spots there over the next three weeks. Yes, the BIG boys trip and a non-stop shredfest was brought to a very premature stop. The first 2km’s in of the whole trip, Mad Markus was doing what he was programmed to do (shred everything to bits), except with a VERY unintended outcome:

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Bringing new definition to the term fingered

GAAAAAAA – Its every traveling cyclists worst nightmare. Its one thing no one ever wants to have happen, but FUCK its so bad when its on a trip you’ve been amping to go on for 6 months. Gutted. Get well soon Mad Markus and hope to see you back in this form ASAP dude!

To round out this rather long and late DRRU, we cross live to Italy where our resident Belgian national champion has been savouring all the goodness that a DN favourite location has to offer, yes Varese and the awesome Bellagio loop that was world famous almost a year ago now. Tommke and Jormey combining to take on the exquisite roads in the area, case in point:

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Probably why Italians aren’t too bad at cycling

Jormey was clearly enjoying not being in Batam, even if he was on an infringement generating rental bike:

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Fuckers had my segment times on their stems

The boys did the necessary and climbed up to the shrine of Madonna del Ghisalo, to pay homage to cycling. Any easy thing to do when you’re in Italy, the roads are awesome and the weather is epic:

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Praying to the cycling gods for a good second half of the season

Rumor has it they were invited back to Clooney’s pad in Como for some limoncello and a BBQ. So excited at the prospect, the boys had to stop in at the local Gynaeo to make sure everything was in check. NO one ever wants to disappoint George… Good commitment lads:

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“You’re on the rental bike with the spacer Jormey, so you have to go first dude”

So, that’s it from Monday and I shall now get back to using hand sanitiser right after I shake someone’s hand, which apparently is another way of saying “fuck you” it appears… People are so sensitive these days. Signing off from the place we shall not speak of, but more importantly, only 2 days away from the next Dirty Nomad mission… and its awesome, so watch this space!

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