Bit of a quick and very Dirty airport lounge post today, mainly as I’ve had a few people ask me if I am still alive after the BIG day yesterday at the ENDURO World Series Round 1… Well, this ain’t no ghost writer, so yes, survived it…
Its going to take a little while for me to be able to collate all the action from the day, mainly as I have to search through my memory banks to pull out all the pertinent points and then craft it into a couple of Mega Posts that will do the day justice…
Yes, it was a massive occasion, which oddly went significantly faster than even I expected it to. Just quickly before jetting off to the Global Hub, some of the key questions that I am sure is on everyones moist lips, some spoilers in here FYI:
- Did I break any bones? Thankfully no, but gave it a fucking good go a few times… I did break a Garmin, which almost counts I guess?
- Did I eat shit in the middle of the hecklers on Stage 1? Forget just eating shit, I put on a masterclass of how to crash in front of what felt like hundreds of people screaming for blood like they were fucking Romans and I was someone that Russell Crowe was going to give a sword raping to. Class
- Did I blow a Tranny? Thank fuck NO, but it was a close call on a few occasions… Especially on the stage 2 transition, I could hear the zipper almost coming down. Plenty of others did, poor fuckers, but I shall elaborate on that later
- Did you win a stage? Clearly someone was taking the piss with this question… Ah, fuck no… Aside from the myriad of mad shredders queuing up in front of me, there was the small issue of Sean McCarroll in our category, ex-World Cup PRO DH dude and reborn Enduro killing machine. Yay
- Were you super rad and rock goggles with a half shell? Absolutely, just like all the multiple world champions on course with me… When my gogs fogged up in the mega humid conditions, I gave them a WTF and whilst my French is a bit rusty, I think they said something like “eeeehhh, you are going too slow Le Cunt“. Ballsack…
- Did you freeze up and fuck yourself on the DH course on stage 7? Back to the Roman coliseum scenario, but NO, there were 4 points of DOOM that I couldn’t manage in practice and not only did I pin them all to fuck, but I hit the high line on the lower section too, like a fucken boss… Ignoring the fact I completely fucked up the top half of Stage 7 in the natives and lost more time than having a flat tire, easy come, easy go
- Did I finally relax and actually enjoy it? Pleased to report, fuck YES… I’m not going to wax lyrical about it here, but it was an insane experience that will take a couple of days thinking about and reflecting on to be able to write it up properly… In the mean time, some images that mash it up, assuming you don’t have Instagram (WTF if not):
Apparently I have to go to some building tomorrow and log into a shit Windows laptop and push down on the key board… I’m going to be super useful if you can picture that… Stay tuned for the full Dirty low down on the EWS!