Man, first DRRU in February clearly means the year is in hyperdrive mode… Feral. Its a massive DN gear overload today, not a promotion per se, as I have limited stock, so no sales drive here, but I’m learning its quite busy getting into this kit game, even when you have a highly sophisticated logistics & supply chain management system running in your HQ, so fucking global right now:

Like a 6 year olds birthday party...

Like a 6 year olds birthday party… Except spread from Japan to Canada

Yes, the DN Road Gear has commenced winging its way out to the Global Collective, gagging to be worn on any number of Golden Missions and ready to be rolled out in strict adherence with the DN Policy of #nocunts, a critical point as it seems they’re everywhere at the moment.

Once word got out, the local affiliates started to come out of the woodwork faster than ‘almost-real-time-feedback’, the Welsh Assassin and Das Wolf keen to ensure that they kept their respective titles as Fashionista and Early adopter extraordinaire’s, wasting no time in getting their dose of Vitamin DN. I took the opportunity to try and fatten up the WA with an extra helping of White Chocolate Brownie…

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The WA falling for the brownie trap, whilst fans nervously look on waiting for a chance to ask for an autograph

… Which ended up doing very little to stop him romping all over ENDURO Saturday, which also happened to be the first Global debut of the Kit… This shot provided an excellent summary of the difference between XC and ENDURO:

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The WA face says: “Why are we stopping again?”. The Wolf face says: “Thank fuck we’re stopping again”

Moving on from the thinly veiled self promotion, Trans Provence came out this past week with some data on whats in store come late June… Aside from climbing Everest over a week, my eyes were quickly drawn to the record 18km of elevation drop (AKA – RAD DH and gnar) across the whole race and days 4 & 5, which look like they have MONSTER tattooed on their forehead/skin:

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French for: The fingering

If someone said we’re having a road stage race with a daily average of 47km’s over 6 days, you would drown them whilst you pissed yourself laughing, but an MTB race in the Maritime Alps is a completely different cycling ball game when you overlay those numbers. Suddenly I have a new found motivation for my mornings and nights being jam packed with all sorts of fitness activities. And yes, on Day 5 expect Nomad to be carrying the Nomad up most of those 1958m.

I talked the other day about a significant anniversary, which I had slightly fucked up, but here’s one that’s actually legit and a little bit like “Holy fuck, its really been that long?!”, yes, the 25th Anniversary of Shimano releasing the first MTB SPD clip in pedals! Crazy shit right… Oh yeah, and this WAS a game changer, a term used with reckless abandon today, but which very much applies here. 25 years later and still making the best pedals in the market:

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The original and STILL the best… Egg beaters are for the kitchen

I still remember my first set, 1993 from memory? the good old 737… I promptly went out for my first ride, got a few KM’s in and fell straight the fuck over when stopping at some lights… We’ve all done it at some stage, but I remember thinking “Well, these things are a bit cunty“, oh how wrong was I? Unless you’re Sam Hill and can make flat pedals actually work properly, these things really made MTB awesome for the masses, once you got the hang of them. Thanks Shimano, you saved us from all sorts of hideous designs that tried to follow you… Anyone remember Onza elastomer pedals? Worst invention ever, until PF30 came along of course.

Now to some BIG news, I’m sorry Scarlett, we have to confess to having a new Dirty crush this week, not to call us fickle at all, but fuck me, how can anyone resist a potty mouth on a Princess? Disney need to get busy making some Kim Sears dolls ASAP, with a mouth like that, no wonder Muzza was motivated to get into the finals of the Aussie Open. There was a lot of debate about what was said, but I am pretty sure I have the translation nailed. Shit girl, just throw a C-Bomb in there and you may get to second base:

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“Fucken Ave some you flashy Nomad fuck… Fuck.. Send me some kit”

Its all too exciting for me… I had to fuck off to Majorca in the end, so I could wear the latest Rapha spring kit and investigate getting some Faux-Coaching support for my upcoming campaigns, which clearly requires some critical investigation and questioning, not to mention; where can I get some of those PRO looking chairs from?

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“I’m a PRO, will your cunt system be useful for me?”

Sorry, bit of a cryptic joke there, but funny nonetheless, especially if you’re not delusional. Finally today and I don’t really know why, but the irony of this made me smile, perhaps it had been one of those weeks? Perhaps I had a few interactions that felt like this? Either way, its worthy of a sly fox grin if you have one in you. Fuck I’m an English nerd… And no, I’m not a Pom obviously:

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Isn’t it ironic…

Oh yeah… And full respect to Jack the Ripper, that hour record attempt looked like a horrendous undertaking… A pretty mental way to spend a weekend. Given he said it was as close to dying without actually being dead as he will ever come, bet he was stoked when Obree came out and said he should have another crack in a couple of days… Yeah, NAH.

Have a good week on the bike everyone… Its FEB after all, the first DN Missions of the year are now finally on the horizon, but more on that soon.

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