Bang, yes, popping out of a bowl of Arabian rice back in the Desert believe it or not… Smashed in the face by the time zone and life under control of the AC box. So, the Monday DRRU is late for anyone living south of the sandbox, but it is rammed with plenty of randomness today, so rock on.

Appears I made reasonable use of my VERY early morning’s back in the gHub, with a 500km week pulled out of the bag somehow. Had I only ridden 3km’s more and I would have logged the biggest week of the year, wish I had checked that little stat…

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A massive blue build up after holding out

It appears though that quality and quantity weren’t homeboys in amongst that week, with me capping it off with the worst Crazies performance I have possibly ever managed. So bad that I wanted to fake a flat tire/a seizure. On to some REAL racing over the weekend and a quick check around the traps reveals that there was a LOT of action going down. As such, I will start with some BIG stuff and work my way backwards to the PRO’s.

So, how about the boys at the ASEAN cup first then. The coolest thing ever about this race series is that they even have playing cards for the riders, here is the one I collected of the V2 programme by trading 27 Frazzle cards for this bad boy:

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No editor check needed on the playing card profile

Yes, two of the boyz from the MTB hood headed to Cebu for a weekend of massages with cheeky ball rubs hardcore MTB racing against people that weighed 50kg and had ages that started with the number 2. If you can’t be skinny to the point of unhealthy, then V2 took the right approach to look rad. Check the CORRECT items:

  • Baggies in an XC race – Fuck yeah
  • Fluro Sidi MTB shoes – Makes anyone want to be Italian, even a German person
  • Matching kit – Even taking a hit for the team with the Cannondale helmet
  • Matching ENVE wheels – No comment that the rebuild may have funded someone else’s free BB (private joke)
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The V2 Programme working 100% as designed – The face of race rage deployed

From correct, to mega incorrect infringing, its a different approach in Masters racing, as they say, a picture says ‘holy fuck, what is going on there?’ a thousand times, which is highly applicable in this situation. Follow this Masters PRO two-step race prep process:

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Step 1: Obtain time machine to get glasses from 1982. Step 2: Even though you have no hair, find a male/female hairdresser for some form of head massage. Nothing can possibly go wrong… “I like your jeans”

Kudos to the boys though, Frazzle kept his 100% masters podium run alive with a 3rd place and the V2 programme snuck into the top 10 racing tiny little people in 28 degree heat in the Elite category.

Moving across the oceans to Japan, the Hawk was preparing for a hard day out on Sunday. With 130km’s and 2300m of climbing on the menu, there was only one thing for him to do – Set up a DN shrine and make a poster in Japanese to summon the Samurai spirit. His Japanese coming along nicely by the looks of that awesome banner, this would also be the best shrine we have seen to date, take that as a challenge to the rest of you to get busy with the shrine making action:

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This pleases the cycling gods no end

Tough day out by the looks, how about a bit of rain at the end of a HARD day in the saddle. Note more correct usage of fluro Sidi’s, get the man/hawk an Italian passport stat:

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Get that man/hawk a cuddle

He’s in ominous early season form, but, the biggest battle of his cycling career is now less than 10 days away, so watch this space! (yes, that’s a massive teaser…)

There was also some other little races on over the weekend from memory… I missed the final stage of some road race in France, but I hear that the F Dog did an impersonation of the death star with a design fault faster than you can say “Fuck, I dropped my inhaler guys”, with Pissterolo unable to capitalise and some American dude sneaking through to finger them both. Perhaps Le Tour won’t be as straightforward as we initially all thought? a BIG July is on the cards.

In Rad other news, epic weekend for Santa Cruz Syndicate and people (like me) who want to say “Fuck you marketing”, clearly 26 inch wheels are still useful, even though I bet there is a 27.5 V10 hiding behind Joe’s desk at SC HQ. Rat boy taking his first world cup win, with Greg the legend in second. This is an AWESOME World Cup DH season so far, 4 rounds and 4 different winners… top 10 covered by 2.9 seconds, whaaaaaattt?!! Blow us Formula one:

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My brain is sending me signals to buy more Fox gear immediately

In other news, one of the Global Network has decided a new machine is required for Spring, with the correct build kit being deployed on to this little project. It may have taken several hours to get this lay out correct. Note the towel in the corner of the shot, we all know its on standby to clean up any little messes…

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“Stay away from Daddy please kids… this is currently the most important thing happening in all of our lives”

To ensure that the DRRU remains multi media friendly, here is a blatant steal from Cyclingtips, not that I think they will mind.. Watch in 1 minutes and 52 seconds as they summarise how awesome NZ is for riding, sure, the MTB action is better, but the road riding worth a sniff too, even if this beautifully made clip doesn’t let you feel how heavy the road chip is:

Finally today – Movie tip: ‘Edge of Tomorrow‘, surprisingly good. Although, shouldn’t be a surprise as what’s not to like about a movie with futuristic military equipment and getting to watch a super fit Emily Blunt shoot Tommy C at point blank range repeatedly. I’m calling it as a must see on the big screen. She also does reasonable Spec Ops yoga as well:

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“Fuck, the DRRU is out and no one told me?! Cunts”

Have a good week everyone!

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