Our next guest report has arrived! You’ll be initially excused for thinking that this is an oxymoron, but from the sweaty bowels of Singapore todays post is brought to us by the Wolf, from the Singapore Downhill Challenge race held on Sunday.

WTF I hear you scream as you spit your coffee all over your screen – A downhill race in Singapore?! Indeed, you’d be right to scoff and spit your muffin half out as you mumble “Fuck off”, but indeed they held such a race and our Wolfenstein fronted up to represent! He’s a man/wolf of few words, so while he has provided the visual cues, I have filled in the blanks and wording using the dirty powers of deduction and a bit of guesswork.

The best part of the race was clearly the mandatory requirement to run a full face downhill helmet! Never mind the fact the track was only 388 meters long and a -2% gradient, this is the land of safety and process we are talking about, so being a long term resident (lifer?), the Safety Wolf was more than willing to oblige the organisers, especially as it involved a transaction. Behold, the Wolf CLAW:

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Grrrrr!!! I’ll huff and I’ll puff… no question

Taking to heart the DN approach of “Victory loves preparation”, the wolf turned up to the the pen knife fight with the tactical nuclear weapon of bikes – The much loved and celebrated Santa Cruz Nomad, making its race debut under Das Wolf:

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Ride me hard wolf and make me dirty…

With equipment being more than well taken care of, it was time for the BBW to check out the track, with a world cupesque track walk and recon. Lets take the tour of the Tampines epicness:

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“Lets send the safety gimp to look after the bridge of tameness”

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I’m sure its just the camera angle making it look flatter than it is…

The next shot is a bit blurry… Root cause analysis: Shaking… Through either excitement or fear, hard to determine:

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What lies on the other side?

A big moment for the riders… Do you take the epic drop or scrub it on the left:

Send it Wolf, GO Large!

Send it Wolf, GO Large!

Further down things start to get a little mucky and fiddly… Probably as slippery as a blue light disco pash. Get tropical on it:

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I have an expectation of a no hander here…

But, to the credit of the local gangsa mafia crew, they had been busy building some berms, so time for wolf to become the Berminator:

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May as well be at Leogang…

Unfortunately a perfectly good berm (well, sort of) appears to have been ruined by the “Berm Baby Berm” sign posting… Things that make you go hmmmm:

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Rail that shit wolf

Not to be outdone… The next man made addition of a mutant mini wall ride masquerading as a berm took the signage debacle to the next level, with the aptly named: “Sweet Wall O Mine”… Guns N Roses would be horrified:

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Possibly quicker to avoid this wall completely…

None of this was phasing the Wolf though, he was ready to hunt out some baycon:

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But, lets not have lack of gradient or length of downhill get in the way of getting rad on it, the local posse clearly pumped up with their version of a Rampage, in a scene right out of heckler rock In Whistler, the gang was getting large on it:

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It appears that some have taken the Downhillers diet to the next level…

Not wanting to be recognised or harassed by the Enduro Paparazzi and groupies, the Wolf took a leaf out of Roberto’s book and registered under his Malaysian DH Gangsta identity of Saifulbahri Bin abdul Mohid. Perhaps also an attempt to ambush the competition like he did with Little Red Riding hood? Oh, you think i’m joking? There he is in 6th Place, a mere half a second off the podium, #264:

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Singaporean race organisation at its finest…

Das wolf went for the ‘one shot, one kill’ approach, smashing out run one and then investing the remaining time unleashing a post run selfie, the last of the wolf Mohicans:

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We’ll be having words off line about the uniform and bike clash… Infringement notice being typed up now…

He was also spotted in the carpark post race asking LRRH what was up with her goodies (Parental warning – This is one of the first pics that comes up when you google ‘Big Bad Wolf‘, alarming):

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It appears its post race picnic time… Yikes

For a video experience of the event (which will only play on PC), check it out here:

Thanks to the Wolf’s efforts, the MTB crew take back their advantage in the Guest Report stakes, with a now solid 4-1 lead over the roadies… Rock on.

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